Tuesday, 30 September 2008

What No Burger VAN!!!

Sunday 28/09/08

Clifton Playing Fields


FC Digica v Robin Hood FC

Ah! Clifton playing fields means only one thing the Dirty Burger Van, poor quality meat, rubber cheese, and even poorer tasting tea! but that's the charm of it all. The disappointment was too much the Burger Van was not there!!! NOOOOOO! Nothing for it will just have to watch the game burger-less.

A grey Sunday morning, the threat of rain hanging over the game, but overall a nice enough morning not cold just right. No doubt the brisk cold mornings will soon be upon us adding that little extra element to watching Sunday League Football.

So after a week with no game it was time for the Robin Hood to get back to the all important matter of a competitive league game and get some points in the bag. Digica had won their first game of the season but otherwise were an unknown quantity to the Robin. 10:30 rolled round and it was time to get the game underway. Within the first two minutes the chaotic tone was set as a mix up in the Robin defence leads to a narrow miss for Digica. The Robin see a couple of early chances from Obi-Wan and "Young" Ali Brown saved by Digica's keeper. Then disaster seven minutes in a long ball from the back causes panic in the Robin defence and they fall apart GOAL!!! for digica. FC Digica 1 - 0 Robin Hood. Not the best start its early in the game but things are looking decidedly shaky for the Robin and all thoughts of playing a good passing game seem to have been replaced by the obsession to lump it. Twelve minutes Digica break the Robin defence again to score but controversy the linesman had flagged for offside, an offside which was plainly seen by everyone on the touch line, but the Referee dismissed all protests claiming the player was onside, GOAL!!! given. FC Digica 2 - 0 Robin Hood. This seemed to enrage the Robin into motivation and they began to play a bit. Eighteen minutes a long throw see Gazza miss at the far post and on twenty minutes in the words of Jules "Ali shanked it over an open goal". The Robin continue to have chances with Gazza going close again only for the keeper to get a slight touch past the post. Thirty minutes and surely the breakthrough the Robin had been waiting for, Penalty!!! up steps Chrissy Sykes the penalty is struck well enough, but despair as it cannons off the right post. Half time FC Digica 2 - 0 Robin Hood, not the best half at all.
The second half starts and the Robin are on the front foot, surely they will be much better this half. More efforts from the Robin go begging. Some personnel changes sparks a bit of life into the Robin and they start to play football, this is it the Robin are going to get back into this game. The second half ebbs and flows but no goal comes for the Robin. Its getting late and the Robin are being eluded by this goal. Disaster!!! eighty fifth minute the defence errors of the first half appear again as the Robin defence fails to deal with a long ball from the back Digica striker slots home. FC Digica 3 - 0 Robin Hood. Things get worse for the Robin when a carbon copy of the last goal makes it FC Digica 4 - 0 Robin Hood. A comedy of errors at the back caused the Robin all their problems and the lack of the killer touch up front lead to a flattering scoreline for FC Digica which does not give the full impression of the game.
Ah well, Rome was not built in a day the Robin Hood will get their first win, and hopefully that will have a snow balling effect. No Game next week, so a training session to see if the Gaffer and the Guru can iron out the wrinkles that caused the problems this week.
Man of the match for the Robin awarded by FC DIGICA
Marco "GattuZola" Della-Rocca
Player Ratings
Adam - 5
Chrissy - 6
Downsey - 5
Shaggy - 5
Kebab - 7
Swiney - 6
"Young" Ali Brown - 7
Jay "Skip" - 6
GattuZola - 6
Obi-Wan - 6
Gazza - 6
Welshy - 6
Ben - 7

Monday, 22 September 2008

Out Jumping Downsey

Out Jumping Downesy,
Blog-Boy's Morning Training with the Robin Hood
Sunday 21/09/08

No Game, Training Woodthorpe Park

Ok ok, Sunday morning and no game again!!! A alignment in the stars and Jupiter passing through Uranus have combined to give the Robin Hood a buy into the next round of the cup. This being the case it meant a free Sunday, not that it would be a opportunity for the lads to relax as the Gaffer organised a training session.

I considered this the perfect opportunity to join in and show the lads how deadly a left shin could truly be. The Gaffer had a few ideas in his head on how to make the training before a mini game "Fun". A good turn out saw the Gaffer and the Guru split us into two teams of seven. I was on Ant (Obi-Wan's) side called (surprisingly The Obi-Ones, get it its a play on words ha ha hmm anyway) our opposition was lead by the Robin Hood's very own Gattuso, Zola hybrid Marco (Della's Warriors). After a light jogging and stretching session the Gaffer explained that there would be a few games between the teams and that for each game won the winning team would be awarded a goal in the later mini game.

Della-Rocca (Gattuso, Zola hybrid)

The first mini game was a test of ball control and speed, The object was to dribble round a set number of cones the return a pass to the next member of your team, repeat until everyone had done this twice and returned to the original starting point. The banter began, derogatory comments exchanged between each team in regards to the level of skill they posses, then it was on. It was a tight race, there was some interesting interpretations of dribbling and some even more wild passing. But eventually The Obi-Ones emerged victorious, in no small part down to my own Usain Bolt turn of pace (ha ha maybe not).

Round two. Sprint test. The Gaffer placed a ball at the end of a paced out distance and explained the objective. The first person in the line would sprint to the ball pick it up and sprint back to the team handing (not throwing) the ball to the next team member. Then the next team member would sprint and return the ball sprint back and tag the next member to go. Repeat till all team members had completed it twice. CONTROVERSY!!! The teams contested the event and it was edged by Della's Warriors, how ever independent adjudicator (The Guru) had judge that Della's Warriors had been throwing the ball not handing it over and called for the race to be re-run. This time a different result as The Obi-Ones claim their second victory of the morning.

Round three. Keep ups, ball skills. Right The Obi-Ones are 2 - 0 up and the third round was all about how long you could keep the ball in the air between your team members. After a few minutes practice it was time to start for real. Della's Warriors were first up displaying the sort "ball in the air skills" which would make the Brazilian Ladies beach volley ball team proud. A target was set and it was up to us The Obi-Ones to beat it!!! Now despite my electrifying pace lighting up the first to rounds (ha ha) In this round I was found wanting. Despite the best efforts of my considerably more skillful team mates I let them down and the round went to Della's Warriors.

Round four, Final round. Penalties. Pretty self explanatory this round, the Gaffer between the sticks each member of the teams to take one penalty. Up first the victors from the last round Della's Warriors. A Stirling performance from the Gaffer in goal stopping Della's Warriors from scoring all their penos! Next up The Obi-Ones, another display of cat like reflexes from the Gaffer but The Obi-Ones just edge it so go into the mini game 3 - 1 up!!!.

Finally the game got under way, players were restricted to three touches of the ball. The game started at a good pace and I was put in a position by my team where I could cause less damage to them and probably Della's Warriors to!. If I thought it was going to be friendly I was wrong as a number of collisions with Downsey left me battered, cut, and with a dead leg! I think he went in like that as earlier I had out jumped him for a header which everyone saw despite Downsey's protests (The reason he would not be happy with this is that I'm five foot fuck all and Downsey is about eight foot tall!) Anyway the game continued. A controversial tackle on GattuZola which lead to Jules scoring, caused a some what heated debate between GattuZola and the Gaffer. It calmed down and the game continued.

Half time and I have no idea what the score is.

The second half gets underway and the three touch rule still applies. I start between the sticks and immediately make an impact as Charlie places a shot right between my legs to score. Midpoint into the second half and the three touch restriction is lifted allowing the full range of silky skills possessed by the Robin Hood to shine through. A few nut-megs and many goals later and the game is brought to a close and I still do not know what the score is??? but that does not matter as the only real concern for me is to make sure Downsey has not cause me any lasting damage (ha ha).

Another good turn out for a training session at what must be a frustrating start to a season where only one competitive game has been played. But no fear cause normal service is resumed next Sunday 28/09/08 as the Robin Hood take on FC Digica at Clifton Playing Fields, 10:30am. Feel free to come down and cheer on the boys and if we are lucky the burger van will be there. HMMMM Burgers!

Monday, 15 September 2008


Robin Hood FC Vs. Premium FC
Location: Vernon Park, Basford
Date 14/09/08Time 10:30

Robin Hood FC 0 - 2 Premium FC
" I am a member of a team, and I rely on the team, I defer to it and sacrifice for it, because the team, not the individual, is the champion"
(Mia Hamm American female Soccer (football) player)
The above quotation is by the female American soccer (football) player Mia Hamm who has scored 158 goals in 275 appearances for her country. Now I know the boys are wondering why I have put this on here? Well to me it sums up the absolutely quality attitude of every single player who was there yesterday, despite the result the togetherness was palpable. This is something that last season I would have not been able to say. But amazingly it does not come as a surprise! Having followed the team's preseason closely I can say that the hard work on building that attitude has paid off. Yeah its not perfect! but f**k me things can only get better and what a prospect that is. I for one will be looking forward to seeing this blossom and in turn get the results that it deserves.
Vernon Park is still in a state of long over due renovation (but its looking good) we arrive around 9:15am but The Gaffer, The Guru, and I are not the first Graham has been there since 8:30 now that is dedication for you. Slowly the lads begin to trickle in to the park and by about 10:00am everyone is there and the oppo has also arrived. While the oppo change in the temp changing rooms (porta-cabins!!) The Gaffer and The Guru (freshly wounded by a Rottweiler bite to the bum ouch!!) Gather the lads to run through a few things and unfortunately disappoint a few as they can only pick five subs and around twenty plus lads have turned out. Then its time to change into the new kit for the first time. Some teething problems with the new kit, well Kebab being confused to why his socks had an L on one and a R on the other? Once penny dropped all the lads gathered for a team photo taken by the chairman of the club Mr Mark Sissons. But now it was time, all the posturing put aside the real deal was to begin. The ref blew the game began.
Just a couple of minutes in and Ben playing on the right for the Robin sees a effort driven just wide of Premium's upright. Another individual effort six minutes in from Cookie (Ryan) on the left wing goes over the oppo's cross bar. The opening part of the game is being played at the fast pace you'd expect from Sunday league football, though the length of the grass on the pitch is not helping much. Premium win a throw in on their left hand side, taken, and Premium's striker is on the ball in the box Goal!!!!! driven past Adam (The Wasp) Premium take the lead. Robin Hood 0 - 1 Premium. Now last season the pessimist in me would have been dishearten by Premium scoring and would be expecting the Robin Hood to capitulate and go on to lose by a rather large margin. But today was different, encouragement was being offered from all quarters non more so than from the Captain Jay, and heads do not drop Robin Hood knew they had a job to do. Twenty minutes into the first half Captain Jay (who we will call Skip for now) hits a long range low drive wide of the mark. The half continues and the Robin struggle a little with their shape. Challenges are made but the flow of the game is interrupted somewhat by the jobsworthing of the ref on free kicks, throw ins, and strangely how the players communicate a return pass! astonishingly they are not allow to say "And again". Forty one minutes in and a good knock from "young" Ali Brown sees Cookie come in from the right and drill the ball just wide. The end of the first half and Premium go into the break one up.

The second half is a completely different animal for the Robin Hood, they come out all guns blazing creating a couple of opportunities in the first few moments but unfortunately do not find the back of the net. The Robin know what they have to do and are pressing Premium hard. Premium defend well and Robin make opportunities but fail to "seal the deal" so to speak. Fifty nine minutes in and another effort from Cookie see the ball go wide. Seventy eight minutes and a long ball from the back for Premium see their striker turn the Robin defence and slot home past The Wasp. Robin Hood 0 - 2 Premium. Again this does not have the usual effect on the Robin Hood and they continue their dominance of the second half. The last ten minutes is played almost exclusively in Premium's half as the Robin go on a hunt for a goal. Eighty fifth minute Robin have a free kick on the edge of the area Skip runs up and thunders it toward Premium's goal their keeper gets a block to it but can not hold it. The ball pin balls around the box eventually be cleared of the line by a Premium defender. This does not relieve the pressure on Premium as on eighty six minutes Cookie cuts inside from the left and unleashes a shot that Premium's keeper has to tip over the bar oooh that was close. Despite the constant pressure from the Robin they can't find a way through the ref blows for full time! Robin Hood 0 - 2 Premium.
Despite the result the lads can be proud of the way they all rallied in the second half, with the only thing missing that finishing touch. The attitude was fantastic, the Robin Hood are becoming a team. Ok back to the Robin for the banter to begin, the players dissected their individual performances while tucking into the sausages laid on by Phil and The Robin Hood. The atmosphere is very positive a good sign that the boys will bounce back and be even more hungry for their first win. If the second half is anything to go on that first win is not far off.

Player Ratings
Adam (The Wasp) - 9 - MOM
Terminator - 6
Sean - 7
Big Wayne - 7
Kebab - 7
Ben - 6
"young" Ali Brown - 8
Jay (Skip) - 7
Cookie - 8
Della-Rocca - 7
Ant (Obi-Wan) - 7
Jules - 6
Gazza - 7
Charlie - 7

(A Tribute to Mark's love of Kebabs!!!)

(Keep an eye out for details of the next fixture for the Robin Hood FC)

Monday, 8 September 2008

"I Got a Touch to it You Bell End!!!"

Sunday 07/09/08
Woodthorpe Park
NO GAME, Training Session!
First of all a thank you to Adam "Neville Southall" Swietlinski for supplying the title of this weeks blog and the quote of the day.

"I got a touch to it you bell end!"

So no game! WTF! first game of the season postponed due to poor weather a decision that was made on Friday by the Council every game called off. What a kick in the nuts, all the lads wound up looking forward to getting the league campaign underway (with a win of course) to be shot down by the pencil pushers. Now I'm no meteorologist (weatherman) but to call off every game because it is raining on a Friday strikes me as a little over the top. Did no one have the sense to say lets wait and see? after all the games are played on Sunday and the weather changes. As it was the decision had been made so there was no game (by the way if you were out Sunday morning you would have notice how nice it was, warm, dry, perfect footballing conditions).
Anyway in the face of adversity true greatness prevails (now I'm going over the top ha-ha). A training session was organised and fingers were crossed that the turn out would be good. Any worries from the management team regarding the commitment of the players were unfounded as an excellent attendance proved that the boys are up for it this year and they want to play football. Now with it being a training session there is not much that can be written about. The Gaffer and the Guru split up the lads and got a game under way. The Guru acting as official while the Gaffer went between the sticks (an interesting sight i assure you as the official dimension for goal posts are 8ft in height and 24ft in width, the Gaffer on the other hand is about 5ft 2") he hardly created an intimidating barrier, but what he lacked in size he made up for in agility. The game was played in a good manner, goals were scored, names were called, a all round a good training session.

Back to the Robin to analyse the training session over a few bevvies and to be regaled with the sexual mis-adventures of Po! Interesting to say the least. Anyhow time to think about next week and what will be the opening game of the 08/09 season, Its at Vernon Park 10:30, versus Premium, be there or be a plane rectangle with four equal sides and four right angles.

Wednesday, 3 September 2008

New Kits on the Blog

Robin Hood FC Vs. Lowdham FC
Location: Woodthorpe Park, Sherwood
Date 31/08/08Time 10:45

Robin Hood FC 4 - 3 Lowdham FC

A warm yet cloudy Sunday morning, the season is almost upon us. Things are returning to equilibrium and the Robin Hood actually have a game on a SUNDAY and in the MORNING!
The only thing missing was the threat and inevitability of a downpour.

A pleasant stroll to the park and on my approach the the pitch a surprise, something that has not happened at a Robin Hood FC game for a long long while, they had a squad! (now I may hear some of you saying duh! don't most football teams have squads?) Well yes that is true but for the first time I can remember Robin Hood had at least seventeen players! An embarrassment of riches that can only be compared to the Galaticos of the forth coming dominant Man City FC (hmm Robhino What The F**k!). Lowdham on the other hand were suffering from the Robin's problem of seasons past and had only manage to scrape together ten players. After running a series of drills on the pitch (yeah I know!!) the game was ready to get going and with the Gaffer acting as referee it was up to the Guru to orchestrate things from the side line.

Kick off! things start at a frenetic pace which would prove the norm for the game. Lowdham were going to offer the Robin a test, they looked fit and (sorry about the cliche') they got stuck in! This was no game of solid defense followed by swift counter attack like Awsworth. Back and forth the Robin struggling to find and maintain shape, disaster fifteen minutes in and Lowdham strike 1 - 0! This seemed to be the kick up the arse the Robin needed. Eighteen minutes the Robin get a corner crossed into the box bodies flying here there and everywhere trying to clear the ball, "Young" Ali Brown ends up the winner and drives the ball home 1 - 1. Robin continued their resurgence playing some good football, a through ball from midfield was latched onto by the Robin Hood's very own Italian import Della-Rocca who calmly placed the ball past Lowdhams keeper, 2 - 1 thirty one minutes, things are looking up. Are the Robin going to stamp their authority on the game? Not quite three minutes after Della's goal Lowdham equalise, the Robin seemingly having switched off. The last ten minutes are played out at the same pace but yield no goals for either side. Half time 2 - 2.

At this point I'd like to mention not only was the squad bulging at the seems (and Kebab that's not another dig at your waist line) but the number of spectators had to be a record high. With the WAGs in attendance (Emma, Faye, Becky and Porn star Paul) cheering on their men. Plus regulars from the Robin and so many kids running around there was a good atmosphere on a pleasant day. Anyhow I digress on with the second half.

The second half resumed and with Lowdham down another player a quick loan deal is arranged so Gaz "That was a Sitter" Fountain pulls on the yellow shirt of Lowdham. The game continues in the same vain as the first half, if only with a little less vigor. The shape of Robin continues to be an issue but with rolling subs being used roughly every twenty minutes its to be expected. Fifty eight minutes see Ant "Obi-Wan" exploit a Lowdham keeper error to slot home and make it 3 - 2. Lowdham continue with a strong challenge but the Robin (despite shape concerns) grow in confidence. A strong midfield display continues Robin's rise. Late in the second half (eighty fifth minute) Jay steps up and powers a shot past the keeper which in all honesty he did not have much chance of getting to, 4 - 2. The Robin took their foot off the gas after their fourth goal and it showed two minutes from time when Lowdham grabbed a potential life line bring the score to 4 - 3. But it was to no avail as the Robin held out the last few minutes to come through a strong test by a good team with a victory.

This would normally be the end of this weeks report however once the game had finished the whole squad made its way back to The Robin Hood (Mansfield Road) for the eagerly anticipated launch of the new kit (and some chips and sausages).

After the initial banter, Sunday league footballer bragging and posturing about how they were the best on the pitch the Gaffer called the whole squad into the pool room. Some inspirational words from the Guru and a small speech from the Gaffer lead us to the point of reveal. (See below)

The Gaffer shows the lads the new home kit
After the gasps and wows of the crowd had dimmed the Gaffer revealed the new Keeper top. (See below)

The Guru and Phil look on approvingly as the keeper top is revealed
Following the excitement of the kit launch came one of the most important parts to the start of the new season, the naming of the captain! DRUM ROLL PLEASE ..........................................
................................................................. Ladies and Gents your Captain for this season, JAY! vice captain appoint due to his un-wavering commitment shown to the club ANT "OBI-WAN"

One thing left to do, the Squad photo. See below this years hero's. COM'ON ROBIN!!!!!!!

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